Woman's Dictionary * Yes = No. * No = Yes. * Maybe = No. * I'm sorry = You'll be sorry. * We need = I want. * It's your decision = My correct decision should be obvious by now. * Do what you want = You'll pay for this later. * We need to talk = I need to complain. * Sure go ahead = I don't want you to. * I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron. * This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house. * I want new curtains = carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper. * I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep. * Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive. * How much do you love me? = I did something today you're going to hate. * I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV. * You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me. * Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you're dead. http://www.rogerwendell.com